The Inside-Out Relationship

by | Feb 5, 2018

Getting along with ourselves is probably the most challenging relationship we have, and also the most important. Every time I have a beef with another, feel insecure, jealous, or uncomfortable in my own skin, I get to question me. The good thing is I don’t have to make an appointment. I’m pretty much always available.

The tail end of 2017 was ew, yuck, and more yuck. I spent some time feeling sorry for myself, questioning wtf I was doing, and a little pissed off at my circumstances. That was fun. I made a promise to myself that I was going to rock 2018, and commit to feeling good. As we know, as universe junkies, the UNI responds to how we feel, so if we’re putting out crap, we’ll get crap back, and ‘ain’t nobody got time for dat!’

I have had a few really great weeks and a few not so super days, and keeping up with my promise is not always easy. Especially because there is only one place to look when things are not rosy, and that’s within me.

Luckily we get to stay on track with our self exploration, and each month we have a theme that we really dive into with intentions of mastery. The theme for this month is relationships, so I get to go bat-shit crazy looking at me. This means I get to nurture myself. My wrinkles, gray hairs (covered up thanks to sally beauty), excess body fat…I’m really sounding attractive now. Yes, I get to look in the mirror and treat what I see the same way I would treat a child, with love, compassion and an attentive, supportive ear.

I’ve always thought (because I didn’t know any better) that the ‘inner child’ stuff was a way to create more problems and delve into therapeutic nonsense that doesn’t need to be re-hashed and re-lived. And now I realize it’s not about re-living and dredging things up, it’s about treating ourselves with kindness, love and compassion. That sounds a heck of a lot better, now doesn’t it?

The inner child is our self-image, our mask, our ego, our personality, and it has tons of stories about why we are wrong, hurt, insignificant and not good enough. How do we begin the process of healing this very real wound? By recognizing that it is a construction of our ego. When we take a step away from the hurt, and observe it rather than sink into it, we can then nurture it with love and compassion, the same way we would nurture a child who felt wounded.

Because all of our unhappiness stems from our thoughts, which then create our feelings, the ONLY place to look is within to heal. As we begin to separate ourselves from our constructed personality, and nurture the fear, we calm it down, just as a child calms when we care for them.

This is where the healing begins. And as we practice this compassion for ourselves, it becomes easier and easier to feel whole, confident, worthy and enough, because we are already all of those things, and the story gets weaker and weaker as we re-write the script.